What Can I Do

     Well it will soon be the day my Daddy pasted away & Mama's birthday. Daddy pasted on the 7th & Mama's birthday is the 9th. I'm very sad at this time of the month, and a lot loner. I feel that no one is here for me or cares. Yesterday, Andy & Melody came over and it made me understand something when Andy was hugging me. I'm not alone, I have God with me. But you do need reminder at times. I think I need to get away from this house for awhile so I can get closer to God. I have been here at the house for a lone time by myself  and I need to get out for soom time. I just need to do some fineings on my on. Lord, I hope this is where we fine each other closer. Being here I can't do anything. I love you Lord.


   My heavenly Father, I pray to know you alot better then I do now. I pray that you take care of the sick and those that don't know you, come to you and ask for you. I pray this in the name of the Father,Son & Holy Sprit. Amem

My Heart and the lost Love

I have lost a many of loved ones in my 58 years here on the earth. Some thought deaths and some by leaveing me. Each time my heart get broken more & more till I though it had no more space in it to love anyone. But then God came into my heart and showed me that the love was always there, it was just hurting so bad that it didn't know what to do. I'm not a writer, but this just feels right for me to write this. I lost Daddy,Mama, & Bubba thur death. My kids,  well i don't remember, and my grandson said I was deid to them. So all I have is the Lord & my puppy. I hope you can read this because I'm crying which I do alot of. They say it's good to write about things.. I love my kids , grandkids & greatgrandkids very much. I have put them in the Lords careing hands. I pray that they will get to know the Lord. I don't
 know must because I lose alot of my memory in a wreck I had. Some things are coming back to me in bits and peices.Some things I was told. Somethings I had paper work and read it. I have this one very great friend, she told me alot. Well I think that it's time that I say till next time.. 
  
  My heaven Father please help all that neep your help. You are the best ,awsome,Lord for me. I give you all the glory and praise. In the Name of the Father, Son,& Holy Sprit, Amem

Not Knowing what to Do

I didn't know what to do. I had asked the Lord "Please tell what to do." The pain was bad, and ever nevre in my body was going inside me like ants moveing on the ground. I took my meds, it didn't stop. I went to the Doctor, told her about the crying all night and how it fell like ants in my body from the pain and the nevres. She added another pill to help me. I got in my car & I just sit there & cryed Lord Please, you are the one that can help me better then all the pills they have. Well I dried my eyes and put my car in drive . I drove still praying that God would answer. But God answers in His on time and does things in His on time. But I trust my Lord. God is Great. 

A Wrong that was made right

In August 10, 1986, my daughter,who was menally handcapied & had C.P. was brutily raped. She almost died 3 times before they got her fixed. She was torn up bad. She was a virgin and almost bled to death. I'm writing this story because I would like my story to be known..My daughter lost alot of blood. She died once going to the hospital & they got her back. She was still looseing blood , so they packed her in ice. When we got to the hospital, the Doctor checked her and took her to surgery fast,because of the bleeding. They typed her and got blood for her and when to surgery. I don't remember how long she was in there but all I could do is cry & pray that she would be ok.I called her Father, because we was divorced. Told him what happen and he said he would come. when he got there he took me aside and blamed me for what happen to our daughter. He said it was because I left her there that she got raped. 
 My Daughter lived thought all of that. The trail was a hard one for her. But she went thur it great. the guy goy 60 years for rapeing my daughter. He is still in jail at this writing. I when on with my life & so did my kids. my daughter was told she would be lucky to have kids. well she did have 2. the frist one was a boy. she didn't want him, because he was a boy. She beat him, kick him, and thown him out of the house. Well I seted in and took over and raised him, got full custusty of him. Her rights and his fathers rights was took away from them. Her's was because of the beating, & the father's was because he didn't want to pay child support.
 Well now I have become a Christain. And every 2 years the prorole board wound call me and ask me if I think he should get out. Well all times before I would ask them,""If it was your young daughter with 68 stichers on the outside & 82 on the inside, would you want the rapies out to do it again."" And he was denined prorold. But before this last call they made to me , my nephew, who is a man of God; we was talking ,and I told him that something was brothering me about this man in jail. I asked him how it was that God spoke to you to tell you something to do.He told me that it was in mean ways. So I told him what I thought was God specking to me about..He said that yes God could do it that way. I ask him to pray about it and make sure that is what the Lord was telling me. I wanted to be sure because I'm new at learning about all this and I just didn't want it to be noise in my head on me go crazy or something like that... This was a bid choice to make and I just wanted to make sure that it was God helping make it.
 So when the prorold board called me this time about him being in jail, I told them ""It's time to let him out. But Before he gets out I would like to meet with him.""So it was all set into motison. He has to take 6 months of sex offener class, be on 35 year probattion, and file as a sex offener. I got to see him as I requested. I got to ask questions that I needed answers to & he also asked some questions that he needed answers to. When I told him she almost died, he went to his knees & started to pray and I went to him & we prayed together...  We both came out of this with a load off of each of us. He ask Me to Forgive him for what he did.. I told him I did Forgive Him...... Then I Took His Hands in Mind and I said to Him; ""I FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY DAUGHTER....... MAY GOD BLESS YOU......''' We both stood up, walked to the end of the table with tears in our eyes and we huged each other. we also started praseing the Lord for all the wonderful weight off of us. Love can go a lot farrer then hate.........

  My heaven Father. I give you all the praise and glory.Thought you all thing are possible. I'm a babe learning how to listen to you talk to me. But I'm learning,Lord. I'm doing my best to do what you want me to do. I'm learning more every day. I love you Lord. Thank you for all you do for me and my family & friends. In the name of the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit, Aman